| "Hushed" for Good |
[Apr. 22nd, 2008|08:26 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  quiet | ] |
Well, this probably is not of great interest to anyone, but I thought I should say that I'll no longer be posting to this journal on a regular basis.
I've started a new personal journal -- drop a message if you'd like the username -- and will be keeping this journal for the various wedding communities I've joined. |
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| Dinner Parties and Curtains |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|10:38 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
So I've been spending a lot of time thinking about that other life, this week.
You know, the one on Bayshore with lots of pretty textiles and beautiful colors and dinner parties?
I think part of it is just dealing with end of semester stress, and part of it is some kind of post-wedding depression. Without the wedding to plan, I don't have anything else to occupy my thoughts except the rest of my life -- which is way too big and doesn't really lend itself to saving inspiration photos and making spreadsheets. Planning a "hey we won the lottery" dream house is a happy passtime for now.
(As an aside, I had a dream the other day about serving some slices of our wedding cake to Anthony Bourdain. He liked it.)
We went to Ikea last weekend and bought a crapload of new furniture that I absolutely love. It helps the apartment feel so... so full, and so real, and so ours instead of his and hers. (The apartment has been "ours" for a long time, but I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that it was someone else's apartment and I was just existing there. I think I was harbouring residual anger over two or three pictures being put up without my input.) So now the apartment is feeling more and more like home, and my color ideas are starting to exist in a more concrete sense -- a lot more blue than green, as it turns out, but that's mostly because we haven't painted any walls and that's where a lot of the color would be.
The upstairs reading room is finished, pending a rug, and we have quickly created and completed a dining area. It seats four, so we can actually invite people over to eat and play board games now, instead of having everyone plopped on the floor. Not that there's anything wrong with being plopped on the floor, but it isn't entirely friendly on one's knees.
The living room is going to be our next project -- we are hoping to get the couches re-upholstered, though I keep changing my mind every 5 minutes about what I want them to look like, and Vince says he won't know until he sees some samples.
And some day, we will have curtains. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|09:43 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  missing the honeymoon | ] |
Happy first day of spring!
I will be writing about the wedding this weekend, but for now... back to classwork that completely fails to stimulate my mind! |
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| Update! |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|08:14 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | The Melody |
| | B-52s - Rock Lobster | ] |
Well, I e-mailed my dad asking why the aisle thing was a problem and he wrote back that I didn't need to worry, and that he'd do whatever I wanted him to do for my wedding to "be like I'd dreamed."
So... crisis averted!
Hooray!
(But I still have "DRINK" on my checklist of things to do at the rehearsal dinner.) :) |
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| ONE WEEK LEFT! |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|12:56 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | The Melody |
| | Coldplay - Fix You | ] |
Wahoo wahoo!
Only one week left until the wedding and I am SO EXCITED.
I also feel entirely overwhelmed by this whole thing, but as we mentioned to Vince's parents a few days ago:
I am nervous about the "wedding" part, not about the "marriage" part.
I have started to have nightmares about things like:
-ending up in the wrong dress before the wedding
-having a different wedding scheduled in our spot
-fist fights breaking out among guests
-taking a big red London bus to the ceremony... and having to ride on the top.
and perhaps worst of all
-being somehow unable to serve the cake at the reception. (::dramatic music:: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!")
Vince's parents and Allie and her mom will be here on Wednesday,
and pretty much everyone else will be arriving at various times on Thursday. I can't wait to see everyone! Although, as I was telling Lauren, I think my head is going to explode from seeing everyone in the same room together. Various friends from around the country will all be meeting each other for the first time, and our parents will be meeting for the first time at the rehearsal dinner. (Someone remind me to order a rum & coke as my first act at the rehearsal dinner.) No, really -- I think they'll get along just fine, but it is nerve wrecking anyway.
It's been a rough month between my grandmother's passing and the "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?" hysteria that struck me a few weeks ago, but everyone and everything is on the ball, now, and everyone is turning up and offering their help. It's a huge relief, and I am happy and grateful to know such awesome people.
Anyway, back to attempting to be productive.
Random aside: Coldplay's "Fix You" absolutely breaks my heart, over and over. |
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| Public Service Announcement For Stupid Pagans Everywhere |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|10:52 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
It is an ALTAR.
NOT an ALTER.
ALTER is a verb that means to make different.
ALTAR is a noun that means a table or raised surface used as a center for worship.
While I'm at it:
Public Service Announcement for Stupid Brides
You will be walking down an AISLE -- a narrow passageway separating two sections of seats.
Not an ISLE, which is in fact another name for an ISLAND.
GAH.
Okay, I'm done. |
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| Mission For Self |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|08:46 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | The Melody |
| | Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It | ] |
If I find myself sitting on my butt online checking LJ, here's a reminder to self on what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing:
HOUSE
-Clean and put away wedding gifts (YAAAAY Thanks A&J!)
-Clean bathroom
-Clean kitchen
-Clean loft
-Finish laundry -- everything ironed and PUT AWAY, not just sitting in the basket
WEDDING
-Write programs
-Write directions
-Complete place cards -- crapload of them, get to it!
-Design table numbers
SCHOOL
-Finish reading Fire from the Rock
-Work on Methods Unit Plan
-Finish ESOL Adapted Lesson Plans
-Study for Applied Linguistics -- you still don't know the vowels. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|01:18 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
In other, completely unrelated news, I have to tell you that the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer is one of the most infectious things I've read in a while. It has been a long, long time since I've read or watched anything that gets into my dreams repeatedly the way this series does. Fourth and final book is out in August -- why couldn't the universe have waited a few more months to get me addicted?
/fan girl |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2008|08:37 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
I feel like I am in a fish tank -- everything is slow and quiet, I can't take a full breath, and there is no one else in here. People look at me from the other side of the glass, and I hide sullenly in my ridiculous plastic pirate ship.
I have spent the past three days with a headache, probably due to the fact that I have been reading almost nonstop. Lots of different books. Anything to keep me busy. Anything to keep my thoughts occupied.
I just finished another 500 page novel -- that I only started this morning -- and now I don't know what else to do.
I am listless, restless, useless.
Everything is better, now, but everything is worse. |
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| Goodbye |
[Feb. 22nd, 2008|10:42 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
My grandmother passed away, this morning. |
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| aRe YOu stILL tHEre? |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|11:09 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | The Melody |
| | Portal - Still Alive | ] |
I have been enjoying life, enjoying things like getting to read books for fun, and having the laundry done on time. I've been ironing, lately, which somehow makes me feel secure in my femininity. I will never be the happy hostess type, but I like having the house clean and I like baking ridiculous cookies and I like doing laundry and making sure all of the shirts face the same way on the hangers. I like that. And that's okay.
My head's just a little jumbled, right now. There's a lot of stuff going on in all of the public spheres of my life, and probably a whole lot more going on in the private ones.
I think my Adolescent Lit. class is doing things to my brain. Reading two teen novels a week is awesome... but it's also bringing back those latent teenybopper tendencies that make me download Justin Timberlake and Avril Lavigne.
I can't quite remember what I set out to write about, when I started this post, but... oh well.
Married in 22 days, 2 hours and 51 minutes.
Someone at work asked me on Tuesday if I am a "bridezilla," yet, and I said "Yes. Yes, I am."
Not because "my day" has to be perfect, but because I'm finding the general populace to be entirely clueless, and it's very frustrating. I have tried to keep everyone informed as well as possible -- I have dates and times and phone numbers posted on the wedding website, and yet I'm hearing things like:
"Where am I staying?" (Uhh... I don't know, a hotel?)
"Can you book the room for me?" (...No. You're all grown-up, now, YOU do it.)
"Can't YOU just call them?" (YOU wanted to invite them. YOU call them.)
Things keeping me sane: Husband. Cake. Honeymoon.
Anything is possible with me if cake is waiting as a reward.
(And no, the cake is not a lie!) |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|07:48 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
On game shows, people are often asked to share a little bit of themselves -- where they work, what their hobbies are, what their family is like.
"Are you married?"
Women's response:
"Yes, I have a wonderful, smart, hard-working husband who is an amazing father to our children."
Men's response:
"Yes, I have a beautiful wife."
Why doesn't anyone ever have a wonderful, smart, hard-working wife who is an amazing mother? Why is it that a woman's primary source of praise is still, after several hundred years, her beauty? We never hear about how supportive or perhaps creative she is. "I love my beautiful wife." |
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| Some Other Life |
[Feb. 4th, 2008|02:12 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | The Melody |
| | Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am | ] |
In another universe, my life is equal parts
-a house that is some unearthly, heavenly blend of Bayshore and Sooke Harbour House
-Anthropologie
-Amelie
-Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am"
I guess it is escapism in its truest sense.
Late at night, I lie down on the couch and dream about that other place. There isn't anything wrong with the place I'm in now -- in fact, I love it -- but it's nice to dream about some other universe where I am 100% rich textiles, vivid colors and a beautiful house on the beach that always smells like fresh bread and new rain.
After further reflection, I'm editing this to add that instead of having this be the life I dream about, this is going to be the life I work towards.
To quote myself: Don't pretend. Just make it so. |
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| Engagement Pictures! |
[Jan. 30th, 2008|10:46 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | excited | ] |
We just got our engagement pictures in! They turned out GREAT and I'm SO excited for the wedding. I know our photographer is going to do an awesome job.
Pictures are here!
(Dang, we look cute!) :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2008|11:34 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | sad | ] |
My store is closing.
I didn't think I'd ever be this sad about losing some job at the mall. But it's not just that.
It's very easy to say "Mia, just get another job."
And I will.
Keep in mind that I've been working there the whole time I've been in college, and I've been there longer than anybody else on my team -- including the manager. I've been working with a lot of these people for a long time, and we've all stuck together through all of the insane holiday seasons and all of the insane other coworkers who have come and gone. I was working there when I met Vince, and everyone celebrate with me when I got engaged (several people were planning to crash the wedding, and, as far as I know, still are. I guess it'll be a lot easier what with all of us being out a job, now.) We've probably spent about as much time talking about ourselves -- our lives, our relationships, our schoolwork -- as we have talking about the business. Anytime anybody started the "Man, I'm so sick of this place" speech, it's been answered with something along the lines of "BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" I've helped train everybody on the team, and I am the resident grinch/scrooge/cynical asshole for any given holiday (and all of the downtime in between).
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really going to miss these people. I know it sounds cheesy, but these gals are my friends, and I'm going to be really sad to see them go.
I can't really form any poignant thoughts right now, so I guess that's it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 7th, 2008|10:49 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
Thank God I'm not one of those "OMG MAI WEDDING MUST BE PERFECT BECAUSE IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE EVERS" people because I'd be going batshit right now.
Apparrently, my dad and I had a miscommunication back in June when he VOLUNTEERED to pay for the ENTIRE wedding. ALL OF IT.
"I want to pay for your wedding."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Really sure?"
"Yes."
"...Do you know how much these things cost?"
"...Kind of."
"It's going to cost about x dollars."
"Okay."
"Are you sure you don't want to just contribute z dollars?"
"No, I'll pay for all of it."
"...ARE YOU SURE?"
"Yes, just be reasonable."
Now, to me, "reasonable" means things like: NOT spending a bazillion kajillion dollars to get married at Disney, NOT spending a bazillion dollar on a top-notch photographer, and NOT inviting 80 zillion people to the wedding.
I'm getting married at a local hotel, with the reception at a local restaurant; I went with a 2nd or 3rd choice photographer; and we kept the guest list small. The only thing I went completely bonkers with was the cake, because I will have a delicious cake if it kills me, and even THAT was a heck of a lot cheaper than it would've been if we had chosen a more elaborate cake. So it's not that I have done the "I get whatever I want because it's my wedding" attitude. I know somebody has to pay for it, and I did what I could within the plans because I thought I had a range to work in. As it turns out, what I gave as a minimum was understood as a maximum. So now I have to "fix it."
It's not that I'm not grateful. I'm really happy to have been given the opportunity to spend what I am spending on this big ol' party, and that I won't start married life up to my eyeballs in debt. What I AM ranting about is that if I had known IN ADVANCE that there were finite resources I could've planned accordingly, instead of having to go through at the last freakin' minute and just SLASHING stuff out of plans because we magically no longer have the money.
I'm just all angsty now because I heard "I'll cover it, just don't go crazy" when apppaaaaarently it's more like "I can only give you z dollars." Which is what I asked him about in the FIRST PLACE and if I had KNOWN in JUNE I wouldn't have to be cutting crap out NINE WEEKS BEFORE THE WEDDING.
GAH.
/emo rant |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2008|08:33 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | happy | ] |
So I'm just having a happy moment.
I am filled with music and my sooooul is glowing.
Just thought I'd let you know. |
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| Anyone Can Cook! |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|07:22 pm] |
| [ | The Mood |
| |  proud | ] |
Tonight, I made ratatouille. While it is perhaps not quite as pretty as in the Pixar film (and it definitely did not give me any flashbacks to a French childhood) it turned out pretty well!
I have to say: I'm very proud of myself. I consider myself a baker instead of a cook, so it's a huge adventure for me to go cooking actual meals.
Ratatouille is now the second successful meal I have ever made. Hooray for me, and to Disney/Pixar for the inspiration. And to Vince, of course, for having enough faith and being brave enough to eat the stuff.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|01:16 am] |
| [ | The Mood |
| | stressed | ] |
Suddenly, at 1 am on a Thursday morning, I understand how bridezillas are born.
I AM FREAKING OUT. FREAKING. OUT.
As I was getting ready to snuggle down into bed for a good night's sleep, I thought to check my Dashboard Widget to see how many days there were until the wedding.
71. 71 days until the wedding. That means that as of Friday, we are 10 weeks out.
I ONLY HAVE 10 WEEKS LEFT.
What happened?! The wedding used to be 9 months away and people were telling me I was being crazy for doing things so far in advance and now I only have 10 weeks. I kept telling myself it was 2 months, but then 2 months became 70 days which is only 10 weeks.
And I still have to get my gown to fit and book the florist and finish paying for everything and write 8 million checks and talk to the caterer about the bar and get my dad to go get fitted for his freakin' tux because the one that he wore in 1997 is just NOT going to fit him and I have to nudge him on the balance left for the wedding and I have to figure out a day where Vince and I can go apply for the marriage license and figure out getting my name changed and decide whether or not we're doing out-of-towner bags and lick 31 envelopes and order the candles for the ceremony and trek out to Ikea to find frames for the table numbers and I have to DESIGN the table numbers in the first place and I have to lose 15 lbs and buy some panties and book the rehearsal dinner AND the farewell breakfast and get the playlist for the DJ and the do-not-play list for the DJ and get attendant gifts and decide what to do with my hair and then order some kind of shiny thing to put in my hair because at this rate I do not have time to get a custom-made birdcage as planned and I need to e-mail the ceremony back to the officiant aaaaaaaaaand ::deep breath:: I have to book the make-up artist and find a hair dresser and decide whether or not I want menu cards and then design them if I do and I have to make ceremony programs and get the ribbon down to the baker for the favors and THEN I have to hope that all the guests take pity on me and use the RSVP card so that I don't have to track down everyone to figure out whether or not they are actually coming so that I can give a final count to the hotel and the caterer and I have to redesign the card cage because the ribbons keep coming off and I don't think the shoes I have are going to work after all so maybe I will go find some cute white flip flops and... and...
And school starts on Monday.
But here is what I tell myself:
A. This is what I wanted. I'm complaining, but secretly I love it.
B. Right this instant there's a guy sleeping downstairs in the bedroom. He has a cold right now and is hopped up on Nyquil, so thankfully all of my stressed out tossing and turning didn't wake him up. But what I keep telling myself is that when alllllllll that stuff is said and done, I will: 1) have had a great party 2) be bound on my HONEYMOON which involves long hours at the spa and lots of good food and 3) In 10 weeks I will be married to the best person I know.
So it's all going to be okay.
::sigh:: Okay. I can go to sleep now. |
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